Well, it is almost here. National Coffee Day is September 29th. I have been gearing up for this for months. I remember the coffee habit I enjoyed when my children were young. We lived on a Florida Key and everybody rode bikes. I soon learned that there is nothing like an early morning ride to the local luncheonette for a cup of coffee ‘straight -up.’ Before the advent of specialty coffee shops (yes there was a time when we did not have them) luncheonettes had a counter that was often called a Coffee Bar. If you are unsure of the word 'luncheonette,' you probably understand the word ‘bar’. Coffee was not an acceptable drink in our house, so by necessity, I began my day with an early morning bike ride along the beach, no traffic, fresh air, the cruel consequence of being a part of the 1970's health food movement. Coffee is more than a drink. The tradition of the coffee klatch goes back to my mother and grandmother. My mother use to drink her coffee black- a somewhat manly choice. Mom was unique and so were her coffee drinking habits. She would order coffee by the half cup. If a confused waitress brought her a full cup, Mom would pour half into her water glass and continually ask for half cup refills. This assured her that she would always be drinking it hot. Temperature is important. In keeping with this family tradition, I ask for a few ice cubes when ordering my coffee to cool it down. It is sort of like the three bears - not too hot, not too cold, but just right.
I will now suggest that the entire world, not just Americans, would be unable to give up drinking coffee. Why? Consider the social bonding effects and the potential unification of diverse people groups. We all want coffee, and we want it first thing in the morning. Universality. It’s the Brotherhood of Bean. A bond that unites us. "Stop, don't shoot. Do you drink coffee? I drink coffee too." We are all one. Then, there's the adultness of it. Children don't get coffee. The drink provides instant age superiority.
Next, let’s consider the Boston Tea Party. Tea, the colonial beverage of choice, was dumped into the water. If the prerevolutionary addiction to tea matched our current addiction to coffee, I submit that we would be bowing to the queen. Would you be willing to give up coffee? All the coffee gets dumped into the water? NO TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION, but no coffee? In keeping with this patriotic theme, I humbly offer my variation of Paul Revere's Ride:
Listen my children and do not fear
The midnight ride of Paul Revere
On the 18th of April in '75
Before the coffee did arrive
The patriots dumped into the sea…
The oh so boring British Tea.
If I have offended tea drinkers, I apologize. I try not to offend people, especially my readers. This is a goal that I admit that I struggle with, so let me soothe hurt feelings by recommending you try ordering either the Grande Mocha Caramel Tea, or the Double Pumpkin Spice with whipped cream.
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