Recently, I was blown away by the cost of a new luxury vehicle. Not that I am shopping for one, but it took me by surprise. From $125,950? I have worked in sales, so I know what the word ‘from’ is about. Now the options kick in. Do you want a sunroof? Do you want four tires? Do you want the doors to open? The good news is that this luxury car comes with a lifetime repair guarantee. Generous, but what about collision? I always need to prepare for that. How did a tree get here overnight? Or the neighbor’s car, rudely parked within a hundred feet of mine? Scratches, dings, bumps, I think I had better stick with my Chevy.
I am at an age when the price of everything seems colossal. From walnuts to cars, why are things not the same price that they were forty years ago? Have my resources increased to keep up? Someone told me the other day that they expect to pay $100 to take a family of four out to lunch. That’s more than my weekly grocery budget. A magazine is $10.00? Where am I? Folks, I am in The Senior Zone. Some people in The Senior Zone will not tip more than $5.00 regardless of the bill. It is a part of what I call Separation Preparation. “Well, it’s a good thing I am passing soon because it is just too expensive to be here.”
Unfortunately, it is also too expensive to die. I’m a planner, so I checked the cost of a traditional burial. I will have to wait until the price comes down. Several years ago, I lost a few readers when I discussed my surprise discovery that coffins have become a new creative art form. Thanks to too much free time and the internet, I learned that people have gone all out with creative coffin designs making it a final artistic statement. Entrepreneurial companies have designed coffins to fit every taste and final wish, bragging that they are, “Bringing quirky color to a sad time.” There are coffins painted to look like the Tardis, a box of chocolate, leopard skin, a football, flowers.
Why not? I like to be creative, why not take advantage of an assembled group of friends and family to make a final statement? The Bible refers to the death of Believers as being ‘asleep.’ Taking ‘asleep’ as my cue, I would have a custom coffin painted to look like a bed with a pillow and a fluffy comforter. A perfect match for the epitaph, “Here Lies a Dreamer.”
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