I just passed another car with a MAN'S BEST FRIEND bumper sticker. This one had a dog paw, or was it a doggie bone? When will drivers stop declaring the sainthood of dogs? Listen up dog lovers, I am here to declare that cats are just as worthy as dogs for the BEST FRIEND title. My cats run to greet me at the door when I come home, and no, they are not trying to get out. They sit with me on the sofa and are loyal, loyal, loyal. Do I let the fact that Simon sleeps in the bathtub bother me? Never. He loves it. It is cool, deep and he can stretch out on his back knowing that life is good. I happily give him my bathtub, although I may not be so generous with the rest of the bathroom. “I need the sink. Simey needs to move. Move it Simon.”
A friend's daughter is working at a Doggie Day Care this summer. Why hasn't someone opened a cat day care with catchy names like Kitty's Kindness and Please Purr? One room could have bathtubs for the Simon type of cat. Another room would be filled with empty paper bags and cardboard boxes. This room would also have an endless supply of toilet paper to happily shred. Another room will be all windows, with varying size windowsills to accommodate the cats that like to sit and look outside - for hours. This is the room where an attendant will come in and gently drop a soft cloth on their heads in case they want to play 'rip the blanket.' There will be a safely enclosed outdoor area with plenty of lizards to chase.
Why didn’t I think of this sooner? I’m the one to open Kitty’s Castle! It could even become a theme park for cats. I'll call it Kingdom Cats. I have been passively considering different retirement options. I am past retirement age but hey, better late than never. This is a business concept I definitely can get excited about. If I go with the theme park, there will be a gift shop which is always guaranteed income. We will put the Kingdom Cats logo on bowls, beds, cute kitty t-shirts, and of course human sized t-shirts. Not to threaten Disney, our logo will be a castle with hundreds of cats lounging everywhere – on the grass, in the windows. The word Purrrr will be placed in a significant spot and it’s all coming together very nicely. The attendants and park employees will wear headbands with kitty ears and complete the look with makeup whiskers.
Slow down, Miss Pat. We have jumped from day care to theme park pretty fast. It is true that Florida is the land of theme parks but …what about rides? A theme park needs rides. Oh. Rides. Easy, our main attraction will be The Mouse. Similar to bumper cars, little mouse shaped vehicles will smash around a track which of course has classic mouse holes to drive through and lots of cheese displays as you drive through the Mouse Tunnel. The Lizard will be another ride similar to a roller coaster. I should have thought of this ten years ago, I’d be rich by now. I’ll need capital to get started, but a lack of financial backing will not stop me. I will get a small business loan and DONE! Retirement plan #435.
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